Slow Death to Diapers - Days 7-8

The past two days have given me some perspective and perhaps a more realistic view of Boot Camp style potty training. At least at this moment in time, for this particular child.

A few things are becoming clear:

HOLDING
She hasn't quite figured out the art of holding it. She ALWAYS tells me when it's happened and is always willing to sit on the potty afterward, but holding it and telling me she needs to go... nope.

Today's illustration: she comes to me, "pee pee?!" I feel her legs and don't notice wetness. Is she really warning me? I pick her up to dash to the toilet, and I see them. Two Logs behind her, freshly evacuated. Oh. I plop her on the pot tell her to stay there while I clean them up. "See it??" Why not, kid? I show her what I picked up in some TP. "Whoa!" She says. I dump them in the toilet and she strains her neck trying to get another look.

REWARD
There's some confusion about our reward system. It was 1 M&M for trying and 3 for going. Now she can't figure out why the former reward policy was dropped. I sit her on the potty to try. She's willing, but then expresses, "WTF, NO CHOCOLATE?!" Every time. No matter how many times and how many different ways I say it. It's not that she doesn't understand, because we have other rules that include concepts like, "only after". She's just unwilling to accept it. Perhaps this inconsistency with the reward is making her feel some animosity toward the potty.

PETITE POTTY
I broke out the little potty and followed her around a bit more today. She sat in it once on her own. I tried to skip over this step before, b/c I didn't want the clean-up and I thought I'd have to re-train her to use the big potty. F that. If she feels any more physically or mentally or emotionally ready to sit on the little potty, I'll take it.

More adventures to come, surely.

Thanks for reading, I love everyone's comments and suggestions.

Death to Diapers - Day 6

Summary of Activity

She arose 7:45am, chatting up a storm with a normal temp. Yay! Poppa woke up with her. There was some miscommunication between the parents about the Bottomless Philosophy, so she spent her first 1-2 hours of the day diapered.

The rest of the day, she pottied on the floor or in her shorts. Our front yard has good public viewing, so I was shy for her to be flashing crotch. I guess I'm glad it was contained rather than having to clean poo off the driveway. It was not a friendly deuce. 

Her fever came back, and went away, and came back. Weird? This likely set us back a bit.

She definitely acknowledged all poo-pee occurrences and wanted to use the potty after each accident. Even though nothing happened on the pot, she was willing to try it out.

However, she finally realized she could manipulate the "1 M&M for trying" rule, so that will be no longer. "Potty and get chocolate?" She asks in five minute intervals.

Hoping she feels well tomorrow. 

Death to Diapers - Day 5

Schedule of Activity

I took some advice from friends, Jackie and Analisa; today we went bare-bummed. The only times she's ever asked to use the potty happened while she was sporting her birthday suit, so this approach seemed totally logical. Would the air breezing around tush remind her she's NOT wearing a diaper. Read on to find out!

7:30am
          Diaper OFF and NO panties.

8:00am
          Little piddle on our dirt-colored couch. Meh.

10:00am
          We're playing on the bed and she gets off and says, "oh no, poo poo". I pick her up to see a few droplets on the carpet and rush her to the potty. I start reading to her. Twenty seconds pass and a colossal amount of urine starts pouring out of her. I clap and shriek with excitement. We high five and I  give her a dose of her drug of choice - 3 M&Ms.

12-1:45pm
          Errands in a diaper.

2:00pm
          Stop at friend Daisy's for visit and play with bff Elina.

3:00pm
          She dunks her first POO IN THE POTTY, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!!!! How it happened? After seeing Elina on the tiny potty, she urgently voiced a need to poo. I took her up in my arms and dashed to the b-room, plopping her down. Two seconds later, I saw it in the water. Curiously, I noticed two dime-sized spots of something on my arm. Nooooooo! Prairie doggin' poo! Bummer, but worth it to see her first Toilet Turd.

3:30pm
          Playing outside, cookin' up mud soup. She and I simultaneously notice pee descending her leg. She looks at me and whines, "poo pooooo." Clearly, poo poo means anything.

6:00-7:00pm
          We head home with a diapered bum. There's some mean business that took place in there after we get home. Also notice she feels unusually hot. Thermometer reads 102.3.  : (

8:00pm
          Head hits the pillow.

I'd say a day of potty progress, though really sucks she has a fever.
       

       

Death to Diapers - Day 4

Schedule of Activity: See pattern of 1% potty usage from days 1-3.

My processing --

Is she just not ready? But she shows so many signs!

She -

1) tells me when she's poo'd her diaper and asks to be changed.

2) has asked 2-3 times in the past to use the potty and used it appropriately.

3) has the verbal skills to communicate the above!

Challenges so far --

1) Often, she doesn't mind that she's wet or poo'd. She'll keep playing until I notice the wetness or hear a squeaking shoe - within 1-5 minutes of the occurrence.

2) I have to bribe her with chocolate just to TRY and go on the potty. One M&M for trying, three M&Ms for actually going. Often, she ignores my bribe just to try. I'm not increasing the M&M dose, either!

Should I let more time pass after I notice wetness or pooness? Maybe she'll have more discomfort, incentivizing her to prevent the experience by using the pot. But the thought of poo just resting and stinking in her panties, eeeewww. And when she sits down, eeeewwww. I'll just wait with #1s, perhaps.

3) She's not following the pattern of cold-turkey potty training that I've read and heard about - 4 days and they mostly have it. Yeah yeah, every kid is different, blah bleh bloo. So, my comparisons are likely not helping our progress.

I'm not giving up yet, dammit! 

Suggestions? Lemme hear them! Except suggesting that she's not ready, I'm not ready to hear that!

Death to Diapers - Day 3

Schedule of Activities

6:30am 

Change into panties from poo diaper.
8:30am
Nada
10:30am
Zilch
12:00pm
I start panicking that I’ve traumatized her around the whole potty and poo/pee experience. Is she holding it in and suffering?

12:30pm

Pees herself, seems fine

1:45-2:00pm

Keeps peeing - three panty changes

5:00pm

All numbers in her pants.

7:00pm
She explains, “poo poo on the potty” as she walks toward it. She scores! And then reminds me I owe her chocolate.

Death to Diapers - Day 2

Schedule of Elimination

7:15am
Poo. She woke up crying that her popa hurt (Russian for “butt”). Morning constipation? She begged for a diaper and I couldn’t refuse the poor child.

8:00am
P-P in her diaper. Change into panties.

8:45am
Mysterious drop of liquid in her panties. Clear/white in color. Indistinguishable smell. Spilled milk from her cereal?

11:00am
Screaming pee. Likely my fault. She was complaining about going on the potty and I put her on anyway. She exploded in tantrum. I walked out of the bathroom feeling impatient and she peed herself, standing right next to the toilet. We made up, of course.

11:20am
A CRAP in her panties. She looks at me and whines. It’s square shaped.

1:30pm
Pee in diaper during nap. Change to panties.

3:40pm
Pee in Target clothing department. “Oops”, she says. At least she acknowledged it as an oops, that must be progress. We walk to the bathroom for a change.

5:40pm
Poo while handling play-doh. She looks at me after it’s done with a concerned frown.

6pm-7:30pm
3-4 small pees in her panties. After all of them, I set her on the toilet to see if she had any more and one time she DID! That’s one potty-pee on our 2nd day, wahoo!!!



Note: I added more incentive than just praise today - M&Ms. I never EVER thought I’d bribe a child of mine with candy. I read an article that convinced me to do it. Click here if you’re curious. The author suggests jelly beans, but those are gross. Sofie doesn't care about stickers, otherwise those would be first choice. I’ll wean her off once she gets the routine down.

Death to Diapers - Day 1

I'll be chronicling our potty training days from start to finish. Enjoy!


Schedule of Elimination Activity

8am

Pees in her training pants. She doesn’t seem to notice or care, so I make the executive decision to put her into panties from now on. What will you think of that much wetness, BABY?!

12:30pm

Massive #2 while at Trader Joe’s (likely disguising a #1) . Thankfully she was in a diaper. I didn’t want to chance an errand in undies on the first day.

2:30pm

Activity: pee. Position: squat. Context: staring at water coming out of the hose.

5:00pm
A rotten stench fills my nose and I jump to check her undies. A turdlet looks me dead in the eye. I rush her to the toilet to finish the job, but it becomes clear after 10 minutes that Mr. T has no other friends. (No racial pun intended).

5:30pm
Flood. I mean, her croc is splashing out pee with each step back to the house. Ew.

Summary: No elimination in potty. Stay tuned for Day 2....

Is Blood Coming out of My Ears?

WTF is this new screaming addiction. She screams when she doesn’t want her hair brushed, shrieks when company is over to put on a show, screeches when a toy isn’t working correctly. It’s irrational and it F-ing hurts my ears.

You know the child development theory that goes, “If you give “x” negative behavior more attention, they’ll just do it more.” So, do I treat it like a phase and ignore it most of the time, hoping she’ll get over it? That seems nuts! There are consequences for behavior like hitting, but I can stop her when she’s hitting. It’s not like I can put a zap collar around her neck (even if I could, I wouldn’t, come on). Somehow I have to convince her that screaming is not cool. This is what I tell her a lot - “No screaming, Sof, use your words”. Which is as useful as, “Scream all you want, I love it when my ears bleed, sweetie!”

Kids need to express their frustration and anger.  What’s the best, most healthy way to allow them that? I can’t be angry when she yells and cries, right? Putting her in a time-out just for crying isn’t cool. I mean, I’m not cool with it. I can just imagine her going to therapy as an adult, having sessions about not being able to express her anger at home.

But, SCREAMING is just theatrical. I mean, COME ON, child! Do I give her a consequence for doing it? This is my latest technique - “No. Screaming. Sofie. Use your words and tell me what you want.” (serious eye contact with low, stern voice). If she screams a second time, I say it again and tell her she can choose to have a time-out or she can use her words. The third time is a time-out lasting 1-2 minutes. While in time-out, she cries and I’m stuck with the all too familiar self-doubting questions, “Am I doing the right thing? What the hell is the right thing?!” Time-outs work in the short term, but she’s likely to scream a few more times later that day.

How do you get your toddler to act “appropriately”? Is that a paradoxical question? Punishment or negative consequences can’t be THE answer for this. Do these monsters just grow out of it?